“Off with the dress,” he said.“What? No way!” I hissed.“You said you would do anything,” he said. “And I gave you affection.”“Yeah. And I did ‘anything’ back in the theater,” I retorted, suddenly angry. “My ass is still throbbing from it.”“So you’ll do anything for more affection?” he asked.I paused, thinking. He wanted to bargain. “What do you mean?”He smiled, thinking he had me. “You can cuddle against me tonight.”He did have me. I loved snuggling up to him, all warm and hard. I looked around the deserted parking area, paranoid. There were three empty floors below us and two above to park on but still maybe someone would drive by. “You promise?” I asked. He hadn’t permitted any affection in bed since that night. I would do anything.He nodded with a chuckle. The smug fucker. There wasn’t a law against public nudity in San Francisco, I knew, so getting arrested didn’t scare me. But people might see. There were security cameras, but maybe they didn’t work. Rationalisation is an amazing. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw.Last week, you came home & you didn’t even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.Your EX-Wife.Don’t try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life!REPLY:Dear Ex-wife, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.It’s true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching. Too bad that doesn’t work anymore.I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just.
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